The silence has been broken in regards to what is known throughout the city as Family warfare. Reports started flooding in with a multitude of deaths in one of the cities newest criminal organizations the Cosenza Family. Between the hours of 11am and 12:30pm three soldiers allegedly connected with the Cosenza Family were found dead rumors started swirling that the cities hit men were back in action.
LAWRENCE "BOSTENJAMES" JAMINSANO, MIKEY "SHOES" SCHIMMEYER, and ANNA "POOKEY" BAMBINO were all found in or nearby their homes. Hours later NATHAN "NATE" BEZ and the Families Consigliere FATTY PNEUMONIA both were caught napping and whacked early yesterday afternoon.
Yesterday evening around 8:30 SAMMY "NONOSE" TALITINO another Soldier in The Cosenza Family was killed, police are implicating BORIS "BULLET-DODGER" BORGIA a soldier known to associate with the Borgia Family in the murder. For the next 4 hours the streets were alive with the sound of gunfire as the rest of the Cosenza Family was gunned down in hangouts and watering holes across the city. In a stunning attack some twenty members of the Cosenza Family lost their lives in gang related slayings.
Here is a list of all those slain and the men and women police believe to be responsible for the murders. All of these people are considered armed and dangerous and should not be approached by any means.
FRANCISCO "PANCHO" VILLA Capo JAMES "WHITEY" BULGER soldier
ANDRE KIRCHEV STEVIE "KNUCKLES" VIOLENZA Don
MIKE "MIKEY" OXBIG Soldier AN ANONYMOUS HITMAN
FRANK LUCAS Lieutenant GUN "4" HIRE Soldier
LOUIE "LEFT" HOOK Soldier JIMMY "THE.SAINT" TOSNIA Capo
NICCO "BLUES" D'ANDREA Don ANONYMOUS HITMAN
SEAN "THE-MEAST" TAYLOR Lieutenant JIMMY "THE.SAINT" TOSNIA Capo
LENNY MARTELI Soldier was killed by JIMMY "THE.SAINT" TOSNIA Capo
MARIO "MASSIVE" RONZONI Soldier was killed by SANTA "HOTOTHETHIRDPOWER" CLAUSE Soldier
BILL KAZMAIER Soldier GUN "4" HIRE Soldier
FRANK MOOOE Don GEORGE JUNG Soldier
JOE FREY Lieutenant LORI "THEGUNNER" GARZA
TONY "MONANNA" SOSA Lieutenant GEORGE JUNG Soldier No Dec 21, 2007. MAX "CHAINS" MAXWELL KING "THERAZOR" RENZONI Lieutenant
RAY "SLICK" ATTILLA Soldier MASON "THE-HAMMER" LUCAS Soldier TOM "ICE" COSENZA Don MASON "THE-HAMMER" LUCAS Soldier
ANDREW "EL-DIABLO" FINATALLE Soldier AN ANONYMOUS HITMAN
To get to the bottom of things ML News sent our lowly reporter out in the wee hours of morning to see if he could find anything out.
In discussions with an anonymous top official from the Borgia Family we learned that apparently a routine brawl spilled over into the streets and gunplay was involved. After the killing started there was an attempt to regain peace but talks broke down when younger members of the Cosenza Family broke rank and began to retaliate.
The unofficial spokesperson for Borgia said that some simple assaults were retaliated with gunfire. “We had to step up and show what we do about that”. When asked if the fighting was over, “Well the Consig decided to take a shot at our Don. The rest are now in the obits.”
Venturing through the lull in gunfire we ventured over to the other camp but it appears they went to the mattresses. A close relative of the deceased Don Frank Moooe said that he heard that the Cosenza Family was attacked for four hours and the Don gave the order to retaliate. He also wanted to go on record saying, “Mark my words Borgia Family the death of Frank Moooe won’t go unavenged, you will PAY!”
A note hand delivered by a local flower vendor had a message scrawled on it apparently from acting Don Tony “Crazy” Mantana that read:
First of all I had nothing to do with this war; it was started by a soldier and ended in mass murder.
Other rumors are said to include an imposter rogue that infiltrated the Family just to create havoc, a disgruntled postal worker, some ignorant tourists, an argument over jort ownership, and one involving a blow up doll of Ivan Rykov (signature model) that is unfit for print.
Whatever the case may be dear citizens it is obvious that the city streets are not a safe place to be this holiday season ceasefire or not.
In other news a friendly reminder to our cities homeless population, YOU ARE NEVER SAFE.
Just ask OLDMONEY "IGETMONEY" NEWMONEY. This alleged two bit criminal was apparently murdered under a sanctioned contract killing. Watch your back out there.
If you don’t believe me check the obits again.
SANTA "HOTOTHETHIRDPOWER" CLAUSE is accused of killing a man. He may have been naughty this year but that seems a bit harsh to this reporter. I’ll take the lump of coal any day.
Jake the Newsie reporting for the ML Press.
As always questions and comments can be addressed at
http://www.thefakemafia.com/forumdisplay.php?f=20
Anyone expressing interest in contributing please pm me on the fake mafia forums.
